joemqi

It was surprising how I didn't find myself questioning my decisions for the rest of the school day. I had somehow convinced myself that breaking up (officially) with Josh wasn't such a bad idea. It could have been worse, right? And what he did...it was unforgivable. Well, that's something that I've been convincing myself too.

Hopefully it would all be worth it. Hopefully I'd find some happiness in this.

I headed towards the girls during lunch to discuss the final scheme. I felt as if I was involved in that damn plan all over again, but it made me feel so superior, so utterly powerful that I couldn't just rip myself away from it. I had to go with it.

"I know exactly what you need to do," Valerie said, looping her arm with mine and leading me over to a stray bench in front of a classroom. "You drop your books in front of him," she handed me books, "And he'll pick them up most probably. Then he'll follow after you. Make your way to the cafeteria. Make a scene. Break his heart in front of a giant crowd. You'll feel weightless after that. A good break up always makes a girl feel happy."

I couldn't help but agree with her. I didn't know if what she was saying was completely true, but it sounded so convincing coming from that girl's lips.

With my books in hand, I hurried over into a hallway and searched for Josh among the crowds of people. It wouldn't be too hard to pick him out, I had memorized what he was wearing today. White jacket, black shirt, dark blue skinny jeans. His jacket would make him stick out from the crowd.

Fortunately, my thoughts were correct. Josh stood a mere few yards away from the cafeteria doors, his clothes making him stick out like a sore thumb. I had just enough time to initiate the plan.

I had no trouble dropping my books and having him notice. I had a short moment of doubt when I realized no one was coming to help me out, but when two large, familiar hands grabbed hold of my calculus textbook, I was satisfied.

Time slowed for just the tiniest moment when his hand brushed against mine.

But I had no time to waste. I nodded at him and made sure not to smile, slowly beginning my stride towards the cafeteria doors. Once again doubt seeped into my mind. I slowed my pace, realizing there was no one calling after me, no voice desperately chasing after my steps. Wait, so he really didn't care? To him, we must have been done with, over-

"Hayley, wait!"

Ah. A smile, mischevous, crept across my face.

But despite the happiness, my heartbeat nervously picked up. Bang, bang, bang. It didn't seem to slow down.

In my head, I had a clear idea of what to do, for it was all planned out just moments before. But I was still skeptical. I couldn't explain it, but I was still unsure with myself. Unsure of how it would all turn out in the freefall.

Nevertheless, I continued on, heading inside the cafeteria now.

"Hayley," he breathed again, this time gripping my wrist with his hand. Once again, time slowed at the touch. The chatters of students became thin and distant. His eyes searched for mine.

I wanted to both smile and frown at the same time, yet my mind couldn't make up which one I should do. Josh was still...in my heart, somewhere. No matter how much I tried convincing myself it was over between us...I couldn't. How could I? He was one of the first serious, full relationships I had.

My lips settled into a hard, straight line.

We were in the middle of the cafeteria now.

"Please let me explain," he whispered, so lowly, obviously not wanting any sort of attention to be drawn to us.

I willed my heart to stop beating in such an annoying, irregular pace. It was making the plan much harder to finish. I had to get this over with, though. I needed that sense of pride again. He wouldn't bring me down this time. I refused to be one of his "girls".

My stomach did turns. It twisted and knotted and I felt physically sick and dismayed. Seconds ticked by.

"No!" I exclaimed, louder than I ever thought possible, and shoved him aside. That got people's attention for sure.

"What?! Hayley, you don't even know the entire story-"

"I know enough that you cheated on me, you sick bastard!"

"Well if you had let me explain you would have-"

"Just admit it, you fucking liar!"

I found my fury, my rage, breathing hard. Only now did I realize he had a grip on my wrist again. I tore out of his grip easily this time.

"You don't even know the entire story, and you won't fucking listen to me! What the hell is wrong with you? Since when have you been such a giant bitch?!"

The cafeteria fell silent when he said that. His chest heaved up and down, the pace of his breaths as irregular as mine.

"You know what, Hayley? I don't see what's worth fighting for anymore. You want to be done? You want this to be over?"

"Yes!" I cut in quickly, wanting to be the one to break up with him. "We're over, Josh. This time, you aren't going to be the one leaving me."

I took a breath. The pain that swelled in my chest drove me to keep going. To make him feel some of it, too.

"I'll be the one leaving you."

Guys, as much as I hate to admit it, updates will be a lot slower after this. I'm going through a death in my family right now, and there's just so much hurt that I have to deal with. I'm sure a lot will be in my way and I won't be able to pull out another chapter as quickly. Again, I'm sorry, and I just need some time. I hope you all understand. I'll probably be withdrawing from the internet for a few weeks as well, so once I come back to Buzznet, hopefully some of you guys fill me in on any fanfics that you've started/updated or any events that have gone on here. Thanks in advance.

And before you all freak, no, Weightless will not be left behind. I will still continue it.