Weightless {35}

IMPORTANT CHAPTER!

It's kind of funny how a simple gesture, such as a hug or holding hands, would strike the chord of an entire school. It had first started out as a rumor I had to confirm numerous times, (so many curious girls asked me the same question-"Are you and Josh Farro really going out?!"-again and again, which was fun at first, but soon became an annoyance) but by the end of the week, everyone soon processed the truth in their heads and realized that Josh and I were, indeed, a couple. I found it hard to believe how a school full of teenagers with decent minds took this long to figure out that Josh and I were dating. Hadn't we made it obvious enough? I sat with him and his friends every lunch, we sure showed public affection here and there, (much to the dismay of the teachers, who yelled at us and warned us countless times) and it really didn't have to take this long for people to decode everything. But maybe that's just me. Maybe I just think everyone is slow with their thought processes.

Wow, that's nice to say, Hayley.

Sarcasm.

I looked over the reflection of the girl in the mirror, the girl coated in make up and wearing a low cut shirt for the first time ever since that plan. I didn't want all those clothes the girls bought me to go to waste, and I was only wearing it today because Josh was bringing me to his friend's country club. If this was just a simple Josh and Hayley date, I wouldn't even consider pulling on this trash. It reminded me too much of before.

Speaking of before, none of the girls had blabbed yet. It took me by surprise, how I didn't find anyone talking about me in a bad way, or even mentioning Josh being toyed or played around with. I expected that by now our relationship would be long gone, forgotten by Josh, but it wasn't. I couldn't be so sure that everything was fine yet, though. For all I know, the girls were plotting behind my back.

I stopped the thought before it could get any uglier.

A honk from outside signaled me that Josh was already here. I stuck my head out of my bedroom window and waved at him, telling him I'd be just a minute.

I looked over myself again, searching for any sort of smudge or pimple that wasn't covered up. I never cared this much about my reflection before, but I assumed it was normal for a girl to be stressing over how she looked when she had a boyfriend. Was Josh changing me?

No, Hayley, he's not. Those girls are just getting in your head again.

I darted out of the house and pulled open the door of Josh's car, giving him a side of the mouth kiss before settling into my seat.

"That color looks nice on you," he told me, smiling my way before looking back toward the road.

"Thanks," I answered. "So this club. Is this get-up good enough?"

He looked me over once again. "You look amazing," he commented. "Don't worry about what you're wearing."

I smiled and set my head back against the headrest of the car, enjoying the music that played over the radio. I assumed the CD that was playing was one of Josh's mix CDs, for he did have a knack for creating those. Songs near and dear to me played throughout the entire car ride, which made the atmosphere comfortable and fun, to say the least. He hummed along with the songs and I tried to restrain the urge to sing, but I found that I couldn't hold it in much longer.

Josh didn't mind when I belted out Jimmy Eat World at the top of my lungs. He laughed, actually. He didn't join along, but I assumed that was because he had too little confidence in himself. I needed to help him out with that. The boy had told me about how horrible he thought his voice was, but I refused to believe it. There was a voice in there. I needed to bring it out.

Once Josh and I had arrived at the country club, a valet appeared at the front of the building and insisted that he park our car. You know your place is fancy when you have valets who refuse to let you park your own car.

We walked into the club, hand in hand, and stepping into it was like stepping into someone's personal castle. The chandeliers were hung high on the ceiling, so big they could double as wrecking balls. The floor was black and white checkered tile, and the wallpaper was posh, matching the floor. A man-I couldn't tell what his exact job was-directed us toward the ballroom, where kids much richer than me were dressed in clothing that was well over my price range. On one wall was a large window that overlooked a golf course, and I could vaguely make out the dark shilhouettes of people walking around out there. A long table sat on another corner of this ballroom, where the food on it was decorated with uneccessary little details, such as mint leaves or plastic decorations. Even the bowls looked expensive.

Rich people spend far too much time and money on frivolous little details.

A girl approached Josh and me, giving Josh a large Hollywood-style hug, and looking over me once before leaning in to hug me as well. I'm sure she contemplated wether to hug me or not, for she didn't know me and I didn't know her, but I bet she realized Josh and I were a couple and that was a reason for the hug. This girl was covered in way too much perfume, choking me a little as she loosely wrapped her arms around me.

She shot me a forced smile before turning her attention back to Josh. "So you guys are together?" She questioned nonchalantly.

"Mm-hmm," Josh nodded, giving my hand a squeeze. "My girlfriend's name is Hayley. Hayley, I'd like you to meet Delilah. She's the host of this party and invited us."

"Nice to meet you," I said, returning her forced smile with a forced one of my own.

"That's great! I hope you guys have fun here. I recently renovated the golf course outside, you could check it out if you want. But for now, enjoy, dance." 

"We will," Josh said, speaking for me. "I'll see you later Del."

Delilah let out an airy laugh and crooked her fingers, waving a tiny goodbye and walking away. 

Josh leaned in and put his lips to my ear. "She's such a snob," he whispered, and I chuckled. "Agree," I whispered back. Josh proceeded to coil his arms around my waist, aware of the fact that I was completely nervous standing in a place where I didn't belong. Rich kids. Everywhere. And me? A normal, middle class person. No where near as rich as they were.

"You feel like going outside?" He offered, still completely aware of my discomfort.

I smiled up at him. "Yeah, let's go."

The golf course outside was everything I expected it to look like: the richly trimmed grass, sloping hills, bushes lining the walkways, and even a lake sparkled out in the darkness. This place was perfect in every way, but that wasn't huge surprise.

Josh led me to a bench that was directly across a pool, which looked so inviting, to be honest. It sparkled like the lake and was the cleanest, prettiest blue I'd ever seen. But of course, I couldn't imagine walking back into that ballroom soaking wet. It would have been funny to see the look on all those kid's faces, though.

Josh tilted his head and shot me a questionable glance. "So what was up with your complete dislike towards me?"

"What?"

"You know, before we dated you obviously hated me. I mean, all the remarks and hurtful words..."

"Hey! I don't think I was that hurtful towards you-"

"Asso?"

I chuckled at the sound of the old nickname we had for him. It had been a while since I've heard Asso being substituted for "Farro". 

"Okay," I admitted in defeat. "It was sort of mean. But we could forget that."

"Forgetting isn't that easy to do, Hayles."

"Oh come on. I don't hate you now. So don't go around carrying a personal grudge bag."

Josh pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around me. "I guess you're right," he said with a shrug. "I mean, it was sort of long ago."

"Right," I uttered, only to emphasize what he just said. "Forget, forget, forget."

"You're amazing, Hayley," he said, and before I could reply with my overly proud "I know!", he connected his lips with mine. It was nice, feeling so warm in the cold night air. I pressed my lips harder against his.

"What the heck are you doing, Josh?!"

My head pulled backward and immediately looked toward where the girl's voice was coming from. "Who is this?" That girl asked, hands on her hips, the expression on her face scaring the shit out of me. The girl didn't look very familiar, but surely she knew who Josh was. That didn't take a lot of figuring out to do.

"So I'm guessing everything we had meant nothing," the girl continued ranting, and for a moment I considered the fact that she could just be a crazy lunatic.

And by the looks of it, Josh was considering this too.

"What are you talking about?" He asked her, standing up to face the girl properly.

"We've been meeting up at night for months now, Josh. And I see you kissing this...this trash?"

"Excuse me?!" I cut in, standing up as well. "And you two have been doing what?"

Josh stayed silent.

"Josh?!" I asked again, yet his eyes refused to meet mine and shot around in all directions.

"Well, is this true?" I asked, yet this time I faced the girl. She only nodded, her face so serious it made me skeptical, uneasy.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Josh added, tentative. I'm sure he tried hiding the tremble in his voice, but it was loud and clear judging by the way he spoke.

"Oh please," the girl replied, and just like that, she pushed herself toward Josh and kissed him.

"Oh hell no!" I exclaimed, unable to take anymore of this. I advanced and forced my feet forward. Footsteps quickly followed suit behind me, and soon a strong grip was placed on my elbow. "Let me explain!"

"Let go of me," I told Josh persistently, attempting to pull my arm away. No use.

He pulled my body closer so he could grab my full attention. With his face inches from mine, he said lowly, "Listen to me."

Couldn't he understand the meaning of "let go of me"? I meant it, and he should have let go if he had a decent brain and could register that. The boy knew I could beat him to a pulp. He didn't have to mess with me.

With one final burst of energy, I pushed him to the side, his grip on my elbow successfully loosening.

Until now I didn't realize how close the pool was to both of us. His arms flailed wildly before he tumbled and created one large splash, many people around us witnessing the event. My exit was dignified, and though it should have made me feel good, the only thing that throbbed in my heart was pure pain.

I walked past the multiple people that stared at me with open mouths, but I found it easier to just ignore their expressions as I pushed past and headed out the door. That way I didn't have to deal with the realization that I had just pushed my boyfriend into a pool and humilated him in front of many people.

But he deserved it.

Or did he? I didn't really let him explain.

Guilt began to effervesce from my mind, yet it disintegrated into nothing as I thought back to that stupid girl. How could he cheat on me? Or was he cheating on me?

God, here it goes again with the explanations.

I wish I knew more.

But Josh simply didn't protest enough. He didn't convince me everything that girl was saying wasn't true. As much as I wanted to believe it, he just acted like a chicken back there. He didn't even stand up for me when she called me trash!

I sighed. It all must have been true. And how could I forgive him after all of it?

I was cheated on, wasn't I?

I almost broke into sobs, but I couldn't let the tears out. Not here. For all I knew, Josh was still trying to catch up from behind.

I ran from the country club as fast as I could, pulling off my uncomfortable heels and heading toward the nearest park I could find.

Holding onto the chain of a swing, I pressed my forehead against my hand. How could he do this to me? He loved me. Or, at least I thought he did. I hated to think that this was all a lie. But that's what everything seemed to be now.

My eyes finally blurred up and broke out into salty, familiar tears.